Her & 'The Change' In Me

One show-One woman- Four voices of the Menopause

A Collective voice of the Menopause

Everyone is invited to submit their story. Read through you may find you don’t feel so alone.

Hi where do I start… when I turned 50 I was told to come off the pill, I was fine on it as far as I was concerned. Bloody Nora my body went into a meltdown, my periods came back with a vengeance like the bloody river Nile, back pain, it was awful. Periods all over the show, 1 or 2 days too 1 or two weeks. That was bad, but my head was worse, couldn’t remember things. Where I’d put them, sometimes struggled to remember conversations I had and when I was in midflow conversing I actually forgot words. I seriously thought I might have the onset of something worse . I was also a right mishog didn’t want to go out or be very social. I carried on for a few months tried herbal stuff, Parma violets anything recommended, in the end I went to doctors. She sent me for blood tests and recommended I have the Minerva coil fitted to regulate the periods and reduce the pain etc, I eventually had it fitted. It did the trick with regard to helping reduce period pain and regulating me, but I still felt like shite.

🙁

I carried on for about a year with memory lapses, joint pain, feeling damright ugly, stupid and miserable because I didn’t really believe in all that bollox about the menopause!! Thought it was all load of baloney , only the precious ones went through that, after all it is a natural progression and your body should be able to deal with it. I was on Methotrexate for rheumatoid Arthritis so I blamed everything on that. Eventually I couldn’t bear the way I felt any more and my poor Hubby thought he was married to someone from outer space. Went to my lady doctor and I asked about the menopause and symptoms, she said I probably was in it now so examined me thoroughly weight, blood pressure, checked my boobs, asked loads of questions and recommended HRT patches, I was a bit reluctant because of bad press, but she explained that there are obviously risks with every medication. I listened and because I’m not in the high risk category no breast problems in the family I went away to think about it because still genuinely thought it would all disappear 

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 Went back a few months later and asked for her help . She asked if I was married and I said yes on paper, but to be honest I could quite happily move to a convent, and did she have a pill for my husband to stop him bugging me! The Dr was laughing and said these patches will help both of you ( she was on them as well), I was very skeptical and said when I come back in six weeks if they have worked I’ll buy you some flowers 

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I went to Boots and got my wonder drug, not impressed clear plaster you have stick below pelvis, you change it twice a week Wednesday and Sunday ( downside you really have to scrub to get the plaster marks off , not very sexy having black marks all over thighs. I stuck it on Sunday morning thinking it would take a while to kick in , woke up Monday morning, jumped ( I did say jumped ) out of bed hop skipped and jumped down the stairs got ready, legged it to work, done the same Tuesday, Wednesday?? Remembered to change patch and realised I wasn’t moaning about my ankles and joints, I had done my hair in the morning, put my face on , actually smiled at my students instead of roaring at them , by Saturday my hubby of nearly 30 years thought he had died and gone to heaven (new wife and all that but same face). 

😜

I was feeling fifty and fabulous, still get the aches and pains but that is the arthritis and not the menopause symptoms. I have me back ( Mature me it ain’t no Botox)

😜

Life is better , I am doing ok , my memory is better, my joints are defo better ( read my Berlin trip with 39 kids and 30000+ steps every day) , my skin is better , hair no cos I am on methotrexate (am thinking of reducing dosage and coming off of it while I am on HRT) my love life is back to normal (you know how it is ladies , they tell there mates they get it once or twice a week, when normal is a few times a year.

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They don’t realise they are all in same boat 

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We are both happier , so therefore the whole household benefits , me , my hubby, my kids, my extended family, my friends and my work colleagues and my students. If you can use an HRT patch safely I would recommend it , quality of life is really important now, my kids are offhand and no longer rely on us, so now it’s our time I want to make the most off it before I pop me clogs in a blink or fall prey to an illness I can’t control. You have to remember the menopause is not an illness but a symptom of ‘change ‘ And you can find a way of making that change more bearable, better or if your really lucky virtually disappear. Go talk to people , friends, family, experts or crackpots whatever helps you… good luck 

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 Bit long winded but I wrote this on the way back from a weekend in ‘Marbs’ celebrating a girl friends 50th (been telling them to go and do something about there symptoms) Oh by the way I did buy the GP a bunch of flowers when I returned for my six week check , she thought it was hilarious because I told her I had kissed My hubby on the cheek and squeezed his bum and I was happy because it was progress and my husband was now at the starting block raring to go. 

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 I hope this helps with your research 

😊

Frankies Old Flannel 25/02/19

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Finding myself back to being 17 again Life is a big adventure Divorce after 35 years Developing a new me & a new range of Jobs/ interests Started travelling, have braces & growing my hair long New university courses, writing a book & flying a plane! Can do what I like without feeling embarrassed Exercise is the best cure for menapause Just haven’t found a cure for the heavy bleeding

Cozy 25/02/19

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I have been going through the menopause now for 15 years and I am now 69 and still suffering big time, I have tried everything from anti depressants to herbal and homeopathic remedies and nothing is really helping, I have bad anxiety, stomach problems and have developed a dairy intolerance, mood swings and lack of confidence, memory loss and bad flushes, so not a great life at the moment, the only thing that keeps me going is that one day it will GO.

Anon 25/02/19

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I started early memopause directly after having one round of preventive chemo 5 years ago. I was 41. In those five years I have and do experience all the symptoms of the menopause. The last two have been the worst. I swing between exhaustion/chronic fatigue to insomnia. Stress/anxiety to calm. Muscle pain, severe mood swings to the point of obsession. Weight gain. I feel that I have physically and mentally changed from the person I was 5 years ago. I am no longer happy or confident. I no longer socialise. I am no longer in control of my emotions and that scares me. After everything that has happened to me I feel my body has never quite had time to recover and I doubt it, nor I ever will.

Joan 24/02/19

I don’t have much time as works really busy, but that’s the same for all of us. So I’ll keep it as brief as I can… I’m quite lucky as I feel you can control a lot of the symtems with your mind set. Yes I get the hot hot hot sweats and yes I’m a little stiffer than I was 10 years ago (55 now ) but I’m not giving in, I passed my PADI open water at 50 rode in the Prudential 100 3 times since, and ran my first marathon (1/2) in Kenya raising funds all for Tusk which last year, yes it was hard but extremely rewarding. But this is where I think I can help with hot sweats, I was really concerned about how my body would cope with the heat and stress, as stress brings in an extreme flush without warning, during my marathon training I would use eletrolyte sports tablets (High 5 Zero) this was through our hottest summer since 76, I ran in extreme heat but the sweats didn’t seem to become worse, which is expected in fact they eased off, but when I stopped training after the marathon they’ve come back, not so bad but there. Before resorting to HRT I’d try excercise 3 times a week, enough to raise your heart rate and sweat, but hydrate with an electrolyte drink during the excercise. I hope it works for you, it certainly works for me, I’m back excercising for the prudential 100 mile bike ride from London to Surrey and back again this year

😊

As I said I’m not giving up! 

🥂

Julia 21/02/19

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What a brilliant idea this blog is! 

☺

 I had a blood test six years ago, which confirmed I was peri. Still not completely gone through the menopause – hoping I’m about there: 7 months period free (mind you I’ve gone for 9 months and suddenly started again). I have older friends who tell me that the hospital used to have a support group for menopausal women – no such luck these days. My mum died 8 years ago, so I can’t ask her about stuff, so I’ve joined a couple of groups on Facebook. I can put up with hot sweats, but it’s the anxiety that gets me down and forgetfulness. I now take an anti-depressant to help, which takes the edge off the worrying. I’ve also gained a lot of weight, which I can’t shift 

😦

 Unfortunately my very supportive doctor has left the practice, which doesn’t help either. She found out that I’ve also developed hyperthyroidism, so I’m never sure if my symptoms are to do with that or the menopause . I’d just like to feel like the old me again (or perhaps that should be the ‘young’ me!)

Jancee 18/02/19

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My peri menopause started when I was 45 😱 periods were so irregular I thought there was something bad wrong with me ( health anxiety all part of it unfortunately 🙄) so I went to gp got a blood test & bingo peri was confirmed but I’m only 45 I said & this is normal he replied !!! I can’t take HRT due to family history…

The hot flushes were soon to follow & the waking at silly o’clock every night,( usually shopping online for things I couldn’t afford 🤦🏻‍♀️)

& being so tired the next day it was an vicious circle.

Fast Forward five years, I am now in menopause had no period to speak of for 3 years, however had the odd bleed for a few days here and there was concerned as these irregularities came 2 years after periods had stopped so had a internal scan & all is normal!!

Now let’s talk about menopause anxiety….My anxiety has gone crazy in the last year to the point where I’ve not wanted to leave the house because of panic attacks, so back to gp AGAIN & put on citalopram to ease the issues I have, I must admit these little miracles have saved my life because I can’t take HRT of any kind citalopram is like a substitute for me, they do cause a few extra sweats but it’s worth it for sanity.

Drying up like an old prune 😔😔 … ( I’m no longer sexually active, as don’t have any sexual desires anymore good ol menopause)

So I went for my smear last year & OMG 😲 it horrendous, nobody warns you about drying up down stairs … the nurse actually said to me “ you are so very dry, if you was to be intermate again you would probably experience the uncomfortableness of a virgin “!

Itching skin like creepy crawly s running up & down my arms, scratching till I bleed 😦 !!

Anyway on a positive note I have found taking a couple of supplements from good ol H&B help me out !

SAGE- daily sweats are now down to about 10 from 20 or more ( remember citalopram increase sweating)

VITAMIN B12- ease fog brain, aches & pains & give energy!

MILK THISTLE- antioxidant to cleanse liver as become you more parshal to the odd glass of wine 🙄..

So ladies that’s me for now !

Have a good day xx

Sonia 18/02/19

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Is it that time

I need to now buy a shopping trolly and get sensible shoes mac and rain hat. I remember as a small girl watching my Nan sweating legs open fanning herself with the racing post saying hope you girls don’t suffer like this well at the time I never understood what a ordeal she was going through. I took her advice and didn’t. At first I did not join all the dots but as the days weeks months went by my life was not how I remembered it. Never been a fan of the doctor so had to pluck up the courage to go, best thing I could of done I told him what I needed to start doing with HRT he was ok let’s start here and see how it goes. Well it went incredible within a few weeks my life started coming back to me. I guess I was lucky that the meds suited me. Not a day goes by went I don’t think of my nanny suffering so we don’t have too.

(Pain is pain but suffering is optional)

You really do not have to suffer in silence you have many options x

Pebbles 16/02/19

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so..it arrived.. not done up in a box with a pretty box..just arrived.. in the pit of my stomach..a heat so intense so fiece that I thought i was having a stroke..then the anger arrived.. the moods the dislike of Jennifer Aniston??..my friends had lied to me..they laughed at their or hot flushes..they lied aside they did not tell me that it would be hell that a beast would enc o mpass my body.. take my brain scramble it up and make me feel 90. the industry lies.. take this take that feel young again..one tablet..one yoga stretch one min of mindfulness will cute all your menopause symptoms.. liars liars.. it’s horrid mean and nobody warned me. I want my money back.. x

Ziggi 16/02/19

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I am in my change but really feel no change now as on HRT patches. The only thing I’ve noticed is loads of beautiful young girls I look at them like I fancy them but admiring them thinking or can’t even remember that long ago when I was that age. Thinking the youth is wasted on the young because if them beautiful young girls know what gift and beauty they have and how age makes us think the way we do now, each and every one of them would have every thing on a plate I just know now that hrt or not hrt life is so precious and worth fighting for every day. I am noticing all the older generation men in there 60s and 70s now trying to make eye contact with me. It’s so weird because it use to be the young boys, not being big headed but some how I find it very hard to get it. Because I think do I fucking look that old now that they think they have a chance. It’s so hard not only being in your change but being that much older now because in our heads we aren’t that much older. Patches are definitely the way forward doctors are reluctant to give you them so ask for them I feel like a young girl on them symptoms free they are called Evorel Conti they are in a pink and white box (life savers ) go get them girls xxx

Sexy Sarn 16/02/19

 

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